Advice From Older Women
- Woman 1: Do you think he's "the one," Lauren?
- Me: How would I to know that?
- Woman 2: Well, do you want him to be "the one?"
- Me: Of course I do. I'd be wasting our time if I didn't, right?
- Woman 1: Just remember that if he's going to be the one, you have to consider more than how you currently feel.
- Woman 2: Exactly. You have to consider what it will be like when marriage is less exciting after the initial newly-wed high has faded.
- Me: Okay, like what?
- Woman 1: Even when you find yourself less attracted to him, at the end of the day, do you still think he is overall a good man--because that matters.
- Woman 2: It all comes down to the simple things that you would think are obvious. But they're not. They're important. In the long run, it's these little things that are even more important than feeling "in love." For instance, is he a man of integrity? What do his friends think about him? Does he take care of you? Is he going to be faithful? Is he reliable? You don't know everything--you can't, of course, but what do you see him making patterns of in his behavior?
- Woman 1: She's right. It's the basics that carry you through hard times, lonely weeks, and stale months. It's trusting each other to be steadfast despite the fluctuation of your emotions. It's the basics that make you able to choose marriage on the days you wish you could walk away quietly.
- Me: What made you stay during those times you wanted to leave or the times you wished you weren't married?
- Woman 2: Realizing that marriage is not the pursuit of happiness. It is a covenant that daily chooses to love through self-denial. And some days are easier than other. But you have to make that choice. That is one decision that will always pay off--I've never regretted choosing to love or choosing to stay because making that choice is the very thing that makes my husband "The One."
- Woman 1: You've both got to live covenant minded--not emotion driven, but God enabled.
- Me: That's all good advice, but is there a way for me to really know?
- Woman 2: Of course not. God is the only one who is constant and things could change tomorrow, but it matters to know whether you can move towards him being the one. You should at least know that it's probable.
- Woman 1: If you can look at each other and say, "No matter how I feel today, I choose to love and I choose to stay," that is enough for you to be confident to say, "Yes, he's the one."
You want to be heroic? Don’t give up on your friends when it becomes hard to talk to them.
You want to be brave? Talk about important things even if starting the conversation is awkward.
You want to be awesome? Spend more time blessing other people than you do enjoying life for yourself.
Real heroes are more concerned about the folks in distress than they are about their own comfort and safety.
You cannot complete me, I cannot complete you.
A relationship cannot make two individuals whole, that is why we must be willing to give over our whole lives, even the life of the one person you love most, to Christ.
If you seek salvation in the arms of another, you will find more brokenness, but if you seek Christ, you will find grace; and that is of monumental importance in any relationship.
I can say you are beautiful, but the reality is that Christ offers more than words; that is greater than anything in this soul can offer.
If I am to love you, I must point you daily to the Father. If I am to care for you, I must be Christ daily. If I am to honor and cherish your heart, I must be willing to surrender it to Christ daily.
No other cornerstone is a relationship, or a single life, more worthy to be built on than the cornerstone of Christ.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Think about what you are thinking about. Unhealthy thought patterns will bring you down a path of destruction. (via professionalkitchendancer)
For years I tried to love God with my heart to the neglect of my mind, not recognizing my need to grow in the knowledge of the ‘I AM.’ Any systematic study of the Bible felt mechanical, even a little like an act of faithlessness or an admission that the Holy Spirit’s insight during a quiet time wasn’t enough for me. But I was missing the important truth that the heart cannot love what the mind does not know.
those secret things you can only tell God because if you tell men,
you’ll never be seen the same way.
Thank God, He hold secrets.
I’ve leaned to distinguish love from “being in love”. Being in love seems so self-centered. It’s about how you make ME feel. MY emotions and affections. However, love is how I can serve YOU and sacrifice for YOU. It’s much more other-oriented. And I think that’s the true nature of love.
I think this is interesting! What say you?
i crack my tooth chewing too hard on religion,
this is how i know i have made a mistake. same as
yesterday and the day before it,
assigning God a stuffy room with a polished wooden chair
when He is already comfortable in the rickety seat beside me,
i bleed from some place else.
even now, as miserable human
daily having to be taught of unfathomable grace,
chipped from the days before.
Stop worrying about how you feel.
You lied, you cheated, you lusted, you gorged. You snapped, you hated, you cussed, you masturbated. You killed, you manipulated, you rejected or ignored.
God doesn’t want just half of your heart. God doesn’t want you to talk to Him only when you’re in the mood to do so. God wants all of you. He wants you when you’re sinless and when you’re sinful. He wants you on the days when you’re strong and on the days when you relapse. He doesn’t want just your beautiful parts, He wants everything.
Stop staying excuses. Stop listening to the devil. Stop thinking you can’t “go to God” because you feel you’re too unclean, ugly, or dirty. Stop worrying about how you feel because it’s not about you. Run to Him, even if you’d rather be dormant. Go to Him even if you’d rather hide in your guilt.
Ignore your laziness, embarrassment, and shame and go spend some time with the One who died for every dirty thing you think keeps Him away.